Stranger in a strange land

I was recently accepted into ArtLab, which is an offshoot program of the University of Lancashire.  In order to be accepted one must submit a proposal outlining what you do & how you do it, your experience, examples of your work etc., etc.  It's pretty cheap to become a member and once you're in, you have access to a lot of amazing equipment and the expertise of staff (and other artists working there).  Yesterday was my first day.

Now, the good thing is that I already knew a few people in ArtLab and since I've been volunteering for a local art gallery and shop (PAD Gallery), I have built-in talking points and managed to meet an artist who sells her work in the shop.  I'm joining right at the tail-end of the session - a calculated move because I wanted to get my first day over and done with before it starts again in September.  Since it's the end of the session, there wasn't a whole lot I could really start doing other than get a tour of the place and speak with staff about the direction of my work and how the whole place basically functions.  All of this is really cool.  But, I felt like I was a fish out of water; first of all, my printing experience isn't very vast.  So all of this, while familiar, leaves me feeling a bit daunted.  I really felt like when I was a kid and moved to a new town (which happened a lot) and I was the stranger in a town that wasn't my own.  I could feel people looking at me, wondering with no apparent purpose, and I'm sure wondering themselves: who is this creature and why is she here?  And indeed, because of my own inexperience felt awkward being there as if they could see right through me and knew that I was a fraud.  Of course this is ridiculous because the program is designed to allow all types of artists in, even those with no experience.  Still, all of this made me reflect on how tightly our childhood memories are imbedded in our brains and how they make up our essence.  Even though I'm a much more confident individual now than I was as a child, for the most part anyway, I can still identify very strongly with all of those fears and insecurities. 

I know it will get easier with each visit I make.  And I did take some time to sit down and really formulize what I want to do so I at least have a plan - I think.  It's just a shame I have to wait several weeks to get there.